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If Beauty Is Inside, Why Do We Hate Our Guts?: Pop Culture, Sexism, & Body Image

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Virgin Auction

A 20-year-old Brazilian student plans to auction off her virginity to the highest bidder. Catarina Migliorini will be filmed for an Australian documentary called "Virgins Wanted". The money raised will be used to build homes for poverty-stricken families in Catarina's home town of Santa Catarina, Brazil. Here's the bidding history for the budding sexuality of Catarina from Santa Catarina:

 

So far, looks like Jack Miller is in the lead at $160,000! Go, Jack! ... uh ... I guess. By the way, a male virgin -- Alexander -- is also auctioning off his cherry. Poor Alexander's highest bid is just $1300 though.

 

(And to think I gave mine away for free to my manipulative loser of an ex-boyfriend. Maybe I could've put out and put it to better use?) :/

 

The encounter "will take place on an airplane flying between Australia and the United States, in a bid to circumvent prostitution laws." The mile-high club. How very clever. So, does that mean there's no law in the skies? In that case, I'm totally sneaking into first class next time I fly! You know, since I'd be in the air, I'll be able to circumvent those laws about having to pay for things. 

  Okay, back to the virgin auction -- let's weigh the pros and cons:
  • Raising money for the poor = PRO
  • Treating sex as a commodity = CON
  • Reinforcing the fetishization of virginity CON
  • Exploiting the above for a movie CON
  • Doing it with a stranger, not of your choosing CON
  • Doing it in a cramped airplane CON
 
Hmm, I'd have to say that the CONs definitely outweigh the PROs. For the sake of the poor families of Santa Cararina -- and for the sake of poor Catarina from Santa Catarina -- I hope the bidders are more generous than Jack Miller and his measly $160,000. :/
 
Read more here
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Being a Princess Isn’t Always a Fairytale

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Nope, No Irony Here

"SUPPORT THE TROOPS!!!" (until the troops turn into homeless veterans) & "PROTECT THE UNBORN!!!" (until they're born & turn into hungry children) ...
 


Nope, no irony there.

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Just a Tad Hypocritical?


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Abortion Laws Support Harassment

A Kansas abortion provider received this letter from an anti-choice protester who later claimed in court that the letter was “divinely inspired” and protected by the First Amendment:
“They will know your habits and routines. They know where you shop, who your friends are, what you drive, where you live. ... You will be checking under your car everyday — because maybe today is the day someone places an explosive under it.” [from Salon]
 

Who would expect that a health care worker would receive death threats for providing a legal and patient-requested medical procedure? But this isn't just an isolated incident by a single disturbed person. In fact, the number of these types of incidents is higher in states with more restrictive abortion laws. Researchers studied whether there was an association between harsh abortion restrictions and amount of harassment and violence directed at abortion providers. Results showed a statistically significant relationship between the two.

"'When state legislatures pass laws around abortion, the added attention to the issue fuels the obsessions of volatile people. ... [T]he targeting of providers’ state governments 'probably in some way sanctions targeting us for harassment.'”

 

Extreme anti-choice conservative lawmakers are unwittingly offering a justification for abortion protesters to act on their own extreme anti-choice ideologies. Not only are they undermining the rights of women to make choices about their bodies, but they're also fueling the fires of those who make choices to take "justice" into their own hands.

  Read the original study here.  
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Life Is way too Short


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Get Over It

Christina Aguilera on pressure from her record label to lose weight:

"You are working with a fat girl. Know it now and get over it. ... They need a reminder sometimes that I don't belong to them. It's my body. ... My body can't put anyone in jeopardy of not making money anymore. My body is just not on the table that way anymore."


That deserves a round of applause. Read more at People.

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Angry Chick Disagrees

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Media Messages


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One more Reason to Wear Underwear

Here's a little something to ruin your faith in humanity. Bust Magazine ran this article about the legality of taking "upskirt" photos. These are photos in which a woman is out in a public place, such as a mall, a train station, a classroom -- and a guy takes a photo or video up her skirt, down her blouse, etc. These voyeur photos are used for the guy's pervy me-time or even posted in online forums or websites. You'd think this was illegal, but it's not in most states:
"The general precedent is that in public, an individual doesn’t have any reasonable expectations of privacy, simply because he or she’s in public. Stemming from that, physical characteristics that are viewable to the naked eye in public, without the use of special equipment, are fair game."

So basically, it's legal for creeps to take photos or videos of a woman's body parts WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE OR CONSENT and even to post them online, as long as they're not using any "special equipment" to do so. Wow. The popular social bookmarking site Reddit even has a subcategory called "Creepshots" especially for these images (NSFW). Their description states:

"Use stealth, cunning and deviousness to capture the beauty of your unsuspecting, chosen target. ... There are a few people who have been upset about the content of CreepShots but it is vital for them to remember this: there is nothing illegal about this subreddit whatsoever. We may be immoral, creepy, sinister (some may even accuse us of being 'disturbed') individuals but there is nothing here that breaks any laws. When you are in public, you do not have a reasonable expectation of privacy. We kindly ask women to respect our right to admire your bodies and stop complaining."

 

Wow -- that last line just makes me want to punch the guy who wrote it. But even though he'd deserve it, it would be illegal. How ironic. This is only one of the places where these images may end up. If your faith in humanity isn't completely ruined yet, it will be when you start reading some of the comments there, as they encourage and cheer on the photographer and weigh in on the hottness of the body parts of the unsuspecting women. 


I'm honestly depressed now. As the author of the Bust article says:

What about my expectations of privacy regarding the parts of my body that I cover with clothes? That sounds pretty reasonable to me. The majority of the legislation surrounding the upskirt issue seems to state that if I wear a skirt outside of my home, I should expect creeps to take photos or videos of what's under it."
I guess we're asking for it then, right ladies? Simply by being a woman in a public place, we're offering implicit permission to be perved on, like it or not. What about having a reasonable expectation that guys are going to act like decent human beings? Too bad we can't legislate that.
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Don’t Become Silent

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Asspresso

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Fetus vs. Children


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What Part of Liberation for Women Isn’t for You?


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Fear is a Story We Tell Ourselves


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No Nursing in Public


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Commandment

Louis C.K. on rape and the 10 Commandments ...



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Nightmare of 1912


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Photo Diary

 

In this emotionally powerful project, Julia Kozerski uses her photography skills to capture her "... private struggles with food, obsession, self-control, and self-image."

 

  "We are flooded with media messages and images about losing weight: PSA campaigns, sneaker ads, reality shows, before and after commercials, in which celebs beam with joy in photos proving that they've slimmed down. They're often perfectly toned, in a bikini, grinning ear to ear.  
"Julia Kozerski's artwork is very, very different. She faces the camera not with a smile, but with a steady, open, challenging gaze. Sometimes there are tears in her eyes. Sometimes she doesn't face the camera at all. ...   "We're not accustomed to seeing documentation of this sort: A woman's body photographed not for the male gaze, not Photoshopped and airbrushed and rendered perfect so as to be more easily digested by the public."
 
See the rest of the project here (Note: NSFW due to nudity).
 
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What does the “War on Religion” Mean?


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Watch Me

 
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A Lesson in Empathy

 

A high school teacher educates male students about street harassment by confronting their homophobia:

"We were discussing homosexuality ... and several boys made comments such as, 'That's disgusting.' We got into the debate and eventually a boy admitted that he was terrified/disgusted when he was once sharing a taxi and the other male passenger made a pass at him.

 
The lightbulb went off. 'Oh,' I said. 'I get it. See, you are afraid, because for the first time in your life you have found yourself a victim of unwanted sexual advances by someone who has the physical ability to use force against you.' The boy nodded and shuddered visibly.
 

'But,' I continued. 'As a woman, you learn to live with that from the time you are fourteen, and it never stops. We live with that fear every day of our lives. Every man walking through the parking garage the same time you are is either just a harmless stranger or a potential rapist. Every time.'

 

The girls in the room nodded, agreeing. The boys seemed genuinely shocked."

 
Read more at The Daily Beast.
 
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I Had a Dream

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Model Thin


Apparently, you can be too thin in the fashion world, but it isn't a matter of health. It has more to do with the aesthetics of showing lots of skin with a tad too much rib.

"[The magazine] Numéro, it seems, liked that [top model Karlie] Kloss was so thin but hated that her thinness made her bones more apparent. So in a have-your-cake kind of gesture, it made the bones disappear with Photoshop. ... We've become conditioned to expect perfected images of skinny, apparently boneless, smooth little girls in our magazines. In a certain way, we've come to rely on Photoshop to insulate us from the sharp reality of what maintaining an industry-approved fighting weight can do to a human body."

Read more at Jezebel.

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Satan’s Way


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True Beauty Is Inside

This woman defines what it means to have inner beauty ...  

 

During the Holocaust, Irena Sendler worked in the Warsaw Ghetto as a plumber. She courageously smuggled babies out of the Ghetto in her tool box and carried larger children in her sack. She also trained her dog to bark when the Nazi soldiers were near, which muffled the sounds of the crying children. She helped save more than 2,500 children until soldiers caught and beat her severely, breaking both of her legs. She survived & tried to connect any parents with their children. Sadly, most of the parents had been killed so the kids were placed into foster homes or adopted.

  Read more about Irena here.  
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The Problem Isn’t Your Body



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“Just Don’t Do It” Just Don’t Work

File this under "Duh":
"This map shows the birth rate among girls aged 15 to 19 by state. And it clearly shows that more conservative states have higher rates of teenage births. ... Many of them, including the seven states with the highest rates, do not require schools to teach contraception. Some states do not require sex education at all. Other states that do have sex education require teachers to stress abstinence and advise children to wait until marriage. Studies have concluded time and time again that abstinence-only curricula are not as effective at reducing teen pregnancies and births."
  (Mouse over each state for info & click/hold to move around the map)  
 
Read more at Slate
 
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How Will He Balance the Roles of Dad and Politician?

 

That question is never asked of male politicians, is it?

 

The media doesn't generally define a man by his appearance (haggard, hot, old, ugly, fat) or through his personal relationships (husband, father, no kids) - he's just a human being. The focus is on his beliefs, his politics, his professional life, his integrity. His looks are irrelevant & his relationships are peripheral.

 

Which narrative would more strongly support a political candidate? Which narrative would lead people to take a person more seriously as a leader?

 

No wonder it's so hard to get more women in politics. :/

   
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Why We Still Need Feminism



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I Will Not Love You Long Time

 

 

The iconic 1987 film "Full Metal Jacket" offers an example of how racist and sexist terms are created and spread throughout pop culture. The Vietnam War era film popularized a few unfortunate quotes: "me love you long time," "me so horny," and "me sucky sucky." These quotes originated during a scene involving a Vietnamese prostitute bargaining with American servicemen. Regardless of the filmmakers' intent, these quotes have lived on as ways to sexualize and demean Vietnamese and other Asian women.

 

See the scene here:

 

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Vicious Cycle


"While this won’t apply to everyone who enjoys wearing lots of makeup or who tans, I find that, for some people, they are already feeling the pressure of standards they cannot live up to. Makeup and tanning are a way of compensating. So, if we turn around then and call this woman a whore or a fake bitch (or whatever our insult of choice might be), we continue the process of victimizing her and degrading her body. We become a part of that vicious cycle." - Laci Green


   
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400 Advertisements

     
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Objectified at Any Age


Recently, both Nicole Kidman & Celine Dion have posed topless for magazines. While there's nothing wrong with being sexy at any age, there is something wrong with how the media constantly objectify women's bodies (but only those bodies that fit the beauty ideal -- white, young, thin, etc.). Their ages matter because women in the media have an expiration date. Posing topless may be a way of extending the date, but it's only acceptable because both women still look young & sexy. It's not about celebrating beauty at any age, but rather, it's simply business as usual to minimize a woman's talents & instead put the focus on her body.
   
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If Men Posed Like Women …

 

The media's treatment of women as sex objects is a ubiquitous fact of life. Advertisements, fashion spreads, comic books, movie posters -- nearly everywhere you look, women are shown in various stages of undress and posed in positions that make them look vulnerable, submissive, and sexually available. Conversely, men are depicted in positions of power or dominance, e.g., standing while a woman is reclining, being fully clothed while she's undressed, etc. These differences reinforce inequality between the sexes. Really, how powerful can a woman feel when she's half-naked and awkwardly contorted?

 

It's an interesting social experiment to see what happens when men are placed in these typical "female" poses.

The image below features two Vanity Fair covers: the top one with fully-clothed fashion designer Tom Ford, along with a nude Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson; and the bottom one is a Vanity Fair spoof of their own cover with a fully-clothed Paul Rudd and a pretend-nude Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and Jason Segel. In a separate issue, Vanity Fair also did a photo spread with comedians Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, and Tina Fey, but posed them as typical sex objects. As Entertainment Weekly asks, would it be "... just as uproarious if some of those ladies vamped ironically in body stockings[?] ... Men being objectified is so silly as to be hilarious, but it’s better if funny women are also hot."

   

Here's a similar set of images showing nude female models huddled together and then one with the guys from the "Jackass" TV series and movies: 

 

The following "men-ups" were created by photographer Rion Sabean to parody classic pin-up poses. According to Rion, his work focuses on "... gender and sexuality, wherein I attempt to bring light to the scrutiny and judgments of a society that defines human beings under rigid, antiquated terms."

   

Artist Paul Richmond created a similar series from a gay male perspective. "I began the Cheesecake Boys series to rectify the inequalities in the underwear-flashing art genre known as pin-up," said Richmond.

 

 

Here's Richmond explaining how he came up with the concept, along with more examples of his work:

 

 

Fantasy author Jim Hines parodied women's poses on the covers of fantasy novels by trying to replicate the poses himself. (He also did a series posing like the men on romance novel covers). "... [M]ost of these covers are supposed to convey strong, sexy heroines, but these are not poses that suggest strength. You can’t fight from these stances. I could barely even walk," said Hines.

 

  

  Do these images look ridiculous? Silly? Maybe even homoerotic? Once men are placed in the same sexualized poses that women are traditionally seen in, it becomes clear how absurd -- and sexist -- these poses truly are.  
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If It’s Not Hurting You

“That’s not sexist,” he says, as she strips on the screen. “She showed a lot more in that men’s magazine.” “She’s an object,” I say. “Irrelevant to the plot. It’s about telling women, ‘Shut up and look hot.’” But he likes naked chicks, Is that such a sin? Why does he care If it’s not hurting him?   “I’m not racist,” she says. “I have a black friend. I just don’t believe that the races should blend. The illegals come here and steal all our jobs. They need to learn English – they’re ignorant slobs!” Being white makes you lucky – No hoops to jump through. Racism’s not bad If it’s not hurting you.   “The gays force their beliefs and have lots of sex! They’ll redefine marriage – who knows what’s next? They flaunt their lifestyle, even during the day! It’s like they’re all trying to turn our kids gay!” Straights can get married, Show their love with a gem. If they’re blocking gay rights It’s not hurting them.   “You can’t have an abortion, because I don’t agree. I’ll make the decision – you’re public property. You had the sex; in fact, you’re a slut. So you will be punished. Now keep your legs shut.” Women don’t own their bodies, It’s different with men, Having no choice is okay – If it’s not hurting them.   “There’s a war on religion led by liberals and gays! They’re persecuting us when we don’t get our way! This nation is Christian! Your history tells lies. Jesus is the truth!” (Well, it’s my truth in disguise.) Church and state combine When voting from the pew. Legislating belief is fine – If it’s not hurting you.   “The poor are just lazy – they don’t like to work. They want us to pay while they get the perks. Now, perks for the wealthy is the American way! Tax breaks and loopholes let us keep all our pay.” You don’t have to share If the scale favors the few. When the poor kids don’t eat, It’s not hurting you.   You take for granted your freedom and rights If you never have to struggle and never have to fight. You can use your position of privilege and luck To selfishly judge, because who gives a fuck? It’s not your problem. You don’t have a clue What it’s like to be hurt When it’s not hurting you.
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Purple Paper Project – Planters

 

I recently posted a Purple Paper Project ad for Yankee's "man candles". Now, here's another pointlessly gendered product -- mixed nuts.

 

Apparently, the best campaign slogan that Planters could come up with was: "The manliest mix we've ever assembled". Wow, that's weak. They're trying to sell nuts to guys! How hard can it be? (snicker) Where's the creativity ... or at least some juvenile humor? Fortunately, I can help!:

  • • Available in a canister or in a box of six individual nut sacks!
  • • These nuts aren't for women!
  • • Grab Planters' nuts today!
  • • Are you manly enough to put our nuts in your mouth?
  • • Please, bite our salty nuts!
 

Planters, feel free to have your marketing department contact me for more.

 

 

See more Purple Paper Project ads

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A Woman’s Declaration of Independence

The following is an excerpt from the upcoming book -- If Beauty Is inside, Why Do We Hate Our Guts?: Pop Culture, Sexism, & Body Image. Read the first chapter here.

 

It's time to declare independence, to separate ourselves from the bad habits, the stifling expectations, and the negative messages that no longer serve us (assuming they ever did).

 

It's time to declare independence from media messages that tell us we're ugly if we don't look like the "flawless" images of celebrities on the screen and in the magazines. It's time to stop buying into the manipulation and stop wasting time trying to chase an illusion that doesn't even exist.

 

It's time to declare independence from the belief that having the perfect body will make us worthy of love and respect. We're already worthy of love and respect in the bodies we have now -- no amount of weight loss or plastic surgery will increase our value.

 

It's time to declare independence from dieting, from deprivation, from seeing food as the enemy. The American weight loss industry makes nearly $60 billion a year trying to convince us that we're not good enough -- if diets worked, would they be this profitable? It's time to stop contributing to their false sense of hope.

 

It's time to declare independence from body loathing, from looking at our bodies with disgust instead of love. It's time to appreciate all of the amazing things they do for us -- the jiggly arms that give great hugs, the flabby thighs that carry us through the park, the droopy breasts that fed a child, the wounded heart that still knows how to love, the exhausted brain that still manages to tell our lungs to breathe.

 

It's time to declare independence from spending so much time, energy, and money trying to fit into someone else's idea of whom we should be. It's time to put ourselves first, to focus on our own desires and do what we want instead of what's expected of us. It's time to trust our instincts and become someone we're proud of. 

 

It's time to declare independence from shame, from the belief that we're not good enough, not beautiful enough, not thin enough, not smart enough, not clever enough, not sexy enough. It's time to declare that we are already enough -- that we are perfectly imperfect exactly as we are.

 

It's time to declare independence from the oppressive labels of virgin or whore, straight or gay. Our sexuality does not define us. It can't possibly define what kind of person we are or what's in our hearts or our minds. Any attempt by others to claim otherwise is an attempt to control us, to police our behavior, and to shame us so that they don't have to examine their own ignorance and fear.

 

It's time to declare independence from the belief that we can bring sexual assault upon ourselves based on how provocatively we're dressed, how flirty we act, or how drunk we get. The only person responsible for a rapist's behavior is the rapist himself. We have a right to feel safe in the world.

 

It's time to declare independence from legislators who think the female body should be controlled by wealthy, middle-aged, white, conservative men. Our bodies belong to us -- it's time to declare our freedom to make our own decisions about them. Because if we cannot, then we are truly not equal citizens and this country as not as free it claims to be.

 

It's time to declare our independence from any force that tries to hold us down -- especially those forces that limit us from within.

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Life Lessons from my 95-Year-Old Grandma

My grandma just celebrated her 95th birthday. It's hard for me to believe her age, because she hasn't changed much since I was a kid. Sure, she repeats herself a little, but so do I after a few glasses of wine. She walks with a cane since a knee surgery a few years ago, but she'll still show you a few dance moves if you ask. She has fabulous skin, which she attributes to her vitamin E cream and "sleeping on my head" (i.e., on her back with a few pillows). She is so sweet but has a wicked sense of humor. When people ask her how she's doing, her answers are either, "Fine and dandy, sweet as sugar candy!" or "I'm doing them all, and the cute ones twice!" She's my little Jewish grandma who stands at least a foot shorter than me (I'm 5'5"). She often reminds people: "I might be small, but I'm mighty -- Mighty Mouse!" And she is -- she's the leader of the family, always there with advice and opinions, whether you want to hear them or not. (We usually do.)

 

My grandma was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as the middle child of seven and now has just one sister left. She wanted to be a nurse when she was a girl, but she got married as a teenager and moved across the country to California and started a family instead. She and my grandfather owned several businesses, from a neighborhood market and sandwich counter in the heart of Los Angeles to a motel near the coast that catered to travelers and truckers. She and my grandpa raised four children and ran the family businesses together. To this day, she still answers the office phone and does some bookkeeping. She was never just the little woman. Like she says, she's mighty -- Mighty Mouse.

 

My grandma taught me to trust my instincts, to pause when I wasn't sure and listen to the voice inside. Her 95 years have provided her with a lot of wisdom, so I asked her if she could share a few things with my readers. Here's what she had to say:

 

On Love:

"Your grandfather always used to tell me, 'As long as I'm with you, I'm happy.' You need to have a man who cares. Couples should be thoughtful of each other. If you want respect, you have to give respect."

 

On Self-Esteem:

"If you're not for yourself, who shall be for you? You've got to have self-worth and confidence. You have to have respect for yourself."

 

On Beauty:

"Looks aren't everything -- it's how your mind works and your heart. Don't be jealous of the next person. Make the best of what you have."

 

On Equality:

"If a man tries to control a woman, he's being very thoughtless. He's being selfish, absolutely. Just because she's female doesn't mean he should be able to take charge. You can't let a man take advantage of you."

 

On a Woman's Right to Choose:

"You have to do what makes you happy. You have to decide on that yourself. They have to leave it up to the woman."

 

I love that my 95-year-old grandma's a feminist, whether she realizes it or not. She's loving, strong, witty, feisty, and wise. I hope to be like her when I grow up.

 
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Purple Paper Project – Purex


Not every guy has a mommy or a wife who does their laundry, so either there are lots of guys running around in filthy rags or they're actually washing their own clothes. It's time for ads to start reflecting reality. Real men do laundry, Purex, so you can make cartoon men do it too.



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Purple Paper Project – Arrowhead

 

Arrowhead wants you to know that women get super-excited over the simplest things.


 

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Purple Paper Project – Simply One

Women are often reminded in subtle & not-so-subtle ways that we're supposed to be selfless & put everyone's needs before our own. Today's Purple Paper Project for Simply One vitamins is one example.

 

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Purple Paper Project – Olay


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Purple Paper Project – Lysol



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Purple Paper Project – Procter & Gamble

 

Minimizing the athletic abilities of female Olympic gold medal winners by focusing on their appearance ...

 

 

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Purple Paper Project – Crest


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Purple Paper Project – Bissell


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Purple Paper Project – L’Oreal & Garnier



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Purple Paper Project – Yankee Man Candles

I originally created the Purple Paper Project to critique the way advertisers market to women, but after receiving this new ad in my inbox today, I just couldn't resist!  


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Believe in Equality?: “U will be burn in hell for that one”

 

Advocating for same-sex marriage may not initially seem related to the topics of body image and sexism, but it is. I created www.beautyisinside.com and the Beauty Is Inside Facebook and Twitter pages to encourage self-acceptance and to serve as a reminder that our value as human beings lies within, hence the name "Beauty Is Inside". My intent was to inspire people to be the best version of themselves, to question society's limiting messages, and to speak out against them. Each of us has the inherent right to live our lives free from oppression. We deserve dignity and autonomy over our own bodies, including the right to be treated as more than a collection of sexual body parts, the right to control our own bodies and reproductive choices, and the right for consenting adults to love whom we want to love. There is no moral justification that entitles anyone to deny a person of these basic human rights.

 

But it doesn't keep people from trying. Last Friday, a subscriber to the Beauty Is Inside Facebook page told me that I was going to "burn in hell" after I posted this image:

 

 

The person -- a woman -- left this comment (errors left intact):

"So basically your saying that the bible is wrong when it clearly states that Homosexuality is wrong and is a sin. U will be burn in hell for that one."
 

I'm always surprised when a minority member doesn't see the irony in denying other minorities of their rights. I'm also surprised that a person would condemn me to burn in the fires of hell for believing that people have the right to love who they want. I was not at all surprised by the poor spelling and grammar though.

 

This comment pissed me off -- not because I fear some fire-and-brimstone afterlife retribution for my evil liberal ways -- but because it's a reminder that some people have such judgment and hatred inside of them and they'll use their religion to justify it. (I don't believe in the concept of hell anyway, so ooh! What a burn!)

 

Opposing equal rights is a way for a person with a form of social privilege (e.g., being straight, male, white, etc.) to have power over those with less privilege. They selfishly believe that they're entitled to the good stuff, but others aren't. The opposition to marriage equality is no different, but there's the added element of homophobia, which often stems from a person's shameful feelings about gay sex, or just sex in general. We live in a culture that's afraid of, yet obsessed with sex. Just consider how the media treat women's bodies as sexually objectified parts, how the government holds politicized debates about women's rights over our own bodies, how far-right conservatives call women sluts for using birth control, how both conservatives and the porn industry fetishize virginity, and how legislators and voters oppose same-sex marriage because the idea of same-sex sex grosses them out (or even turns them on).

 

Both exploiting and controlling another person's sexual expression are two sides of the same coin -- it defines people by their sexuality. People are more than mere bodies, so it's dehumanizing to equate what we do with the parts between our legs with who we are as human beings.

 

I believe that people can be defined much more accurately by their hearts and their minds. If judgmental homophobes want to condemn me to hell for thinking that we all have the right to be loved and accepted, to be treated as equal under the law, and to be defined by more than our sexuality -- then so be it. At least I'll be in good company.

 

 
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