Posts in category Self-esteem
This is a Hallmark birthday card for a young girl:
TEXT: "You're 13 today! If you had a rich boyfriend, he'd give you diamonds and rubies. Well, maybe next year you will - when you've bigger boobies!"
A woman in the UK posted a picture of it on Twitter. Over the next 6 hours, it was "re-tweeted, blogged about and posted across the Internet ... [until] Hallmark UK apologized for and pledged to stop selling the sexist card." The social pressure on Hallmark and their reaction is a great example of how speaking out about sexism matters!
From the movie, Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion.
We see photos like this all the time in the media. Many of us compare our "flawed" bodies with the model's seemingly "perfect" one, & then feel like crap. But here's a reality check that shows how this model morphed into "perfect":
1) nose narrowed
2) breasts enlarged & brought closer together
3) protruding ribs removed
4) waist narrowed
5) belly pooch flattened
6) skintone lightened & smoothed out
7) hips made curvier
8) inner thighs slimmed
We are mirrors -- we teach children how to feel about themselves, not only through our words, but also through our actions. We can tell a child that she's beautiful, but if we're constantly denigrating ourselves, she'll learn to see herself in that same critical light. Here's a beautiful example of how one mother's experiment to help instill a healthy body image in her daughters ends up helping her to improve her own:
"'Look at me, girls!' I say to them. 'Look at how beautiful I am. I feel really beautiful, today.' "I see it behind their eyes, the calculating and impression. I see it behind their shining brown eyes, how glad they are that I believe I am beautiful. They love me. To them, I am love and guidance and warm, soft blankets and early mornings. They have never doubted how wonderful I am. They have never doubted my beauty. How confusing it must have been for them to see me furrowing my brow in the mirror and sucking in my stomach and sighing."How confusing it must have been to have me say to them, 'You think I am beautiful, but you are wrong. You are small and you love me, so you're not smart enough to know how unattractive I am. I know I am ugly because I see myself with mean eyes. You are my child and I love you, but I will not allow myself to be pretty, for you. ... No matter how much you want to be just like me, I can't be beautiful for you and I don't know why. "It's working, a little bit. I've even stopped hating myself, a little bit."
I've recently started posting a few original memes here and on my Facebook fan page (which has over 2,700 fans -- so please check it out!). As an artist, I enjoy creating these images. I add a small mention of my website, Facebook page, and logo to my memes in case they're shared. Unfortunately, another fan page on Facebook, Women's Rights News (which has about 100 times more fans than I do and should know better), has shared several of these images, but cropped my info off.
- J.K. Rowling: http://beautyisinside.com/2012/10/is-fat-really-the-worst-thing/
- Portia de Rossi: http://beautyisinside.com/2012/10/portia-on-body-image/
- Iyanla Vanzant: http://beautyisinside.com/2012/10/what-we-believe/
- The 1950s Kitchen: http://beautyisinside.com/2012/10/1950s-kitchen/
Quote is actually by Emily Maguire in the intro to Ariel Levy's book, Female Chauvinist Pigs.
Ok, I have a story to share about this one. Every year, I make two different stuffings for Thanksgiving dinner: the traditional bread stuffing & an oatmeal stuffing -- an old recipe handed down from my Jewish grandma, which she got from her Scottish housekeeper over 50 years ago. I make it every year, & every year my dad bitches that I didn't do it right. Honestly, my grandma hasn't made it in so long that I doubt he remembers what it's supposed to taste like. Regardless, it stresses me out every year - especially since I've often spent hours making both stuffings, the turkey, & a few other dishes. Anyway, to those of you who have similarly "pleasant" family members ... let's raise a glass in solidarity, because you're not alone! :/
Almost everything we feel about others is subjective -- remember this next time you're rejected, insulted, etc.
Why wait? This sounds lovely right now, while I'm younger & dark-haired!
True -- my inner voice sounds like my dad. :/
(Yes, a word's misspelled, but just pretend there's an "h" in there)