Here's an awesome fake commercial advertising the Brontë Sisters Power Dolls. Named after the classic-novel-writing-sisters Charlotte, Emily, and Anne Brontë, the dolls were featured as part of a 1998 series that re-imagined historical figures as action figures. In this commercial, kids make the Brontë Sisters fight against the evil publisher so they can get their books into print. The Brontë Sisters come with Super Disguise Mustaches! and Boomerang Book-Throwing Action!, and can transform into a Brontësaurus with barrier-breaking feminist vision! Check it out:
Unfortunately, these dolls aren't real. For now, girls will just have to choose from Bimbo Barbies who stand around looking pretty, Bratz Dolls who look like mini porn stars with eyes larger than their waists, and Disney princesses who always seem to be waiting for their princes to save them.
I'd like to think as a girl, I would've chosen the Brontë Sisters Power Dolls (if they existed) over the others. But honestly, I'm not so sure. (I totally wanted to be Cinderella.) As a culture, we need the barrier-breaking feminist vision to offer girls more options so that they can emulate cool action figures like the Brontë Sisters. Otherwise, they'll just keep getting more inaction figures that reinforce the value of standing around looking pretty.