Step aside, cankles! There's a new body part to hate!
Raise your hand if you know what it is. Raise your hand if you're sure. Now turn your head toward that raised arm.
That's right, ladies -- your armpits are hideous. They're hairy, they're smelly, and they're ugly. But don't fall into a pit of despair.
Fortunately Unilever, the makers of Dove®, have a solution! Dove's new "Go Sleeveless" deodorant claims to make a woman's armpits more attractive in just five days! Hear that, ladies? In a little bit, your pit can be the shit!
As Stephen Colbert states in this clip from the Colbert Report, "One of the secrets of sales is fulfilling the public's need. The other secret is inventing the public's need."
Incidentally, Unilever is the same company that developed the Dove® "Campaign for Real Beauty" a few years ago that featured "real women" instead of models in its ads as a way to counter sexist media imagery. Unilever also owns the Axe® line of mens' products whose ads feature the same sexist imagery that Dove® is allegedly fighting against. This site shows one of the videos put out by the Dove® campaign, along with a brilliantly re-edited video that juxtaposes it with ads by Axe®.
As Colbert says, "If there's one sure way to financial security, it's inventing women's insecurity."